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Thursday, May 8, 2014
A place to rant, a place to speak out, a safe haven from everyone. A place for me to speak my mind without hurting those around me. A place where no eyes but mine will see. Did I do something wrong in a past life? Do I not deserve love? Do I not deserve happiness? Every story, every chapter has ended with me in darkness. What am I doing wrong? Should I lock these emotions away? It seems like each time I fall, I end up with my heart ripped out. Brutus and Cain.....a wound so big I can't seem to mend. Why do I keep trying? Isn't it clear that no matter what I do I will fail? Take this darkness and lock it away. No one wants to see it. Take this love and lock it away. No one wants to see it. Take this anger and lock it away. No one wants to see it. Take this sadness and lock it away. No one wants to see it. Take these emotions and lock it away. No one wants to see it. Lock it all away. No one wants to see it. Keep up the smile. That's all they want to see. Keep up the happiness. That's all they want to see. Keep up the walls. That's all they want to see. Keep up the masks. That's all they want to see. Keep it all up. That's all they want to see. In the end, nothing is left. Wednesday, September 23, 2009 yes...blogging again......might put some pic this time 'round......if i can bother to get them.... so anyways... nth much has happened since after the chalet...so i just wanna talk about a couple of stuff..... YouTube I've been addicted recently.....to a couple of channels on youtube. natalie tran a.k.a. communitychannel http://www.youtube.com/user/communitychannel  ok so she's not really under the comedian category, but her vlogs are hilarious. she has like 1 person skits and stuff so it's pretty interesting. kate a.k.a. katers17 http://www.youtube.com/user/Katers17  she a gamer babe and has a lot of free time. she's kinda random at times, but still funny =D and VERY entertaining... Ian Hacox and Anthony Padilla(respective positions) a.k.a. Smosh http://www.youtube.com/user/smosh  one of the top ranking comedian channels on youtube. VERY lame, very funny. quote, "How do YOU eat your 6 dollar Carl's Jr. Portobello mushroom burger?" ryan higa a.k.a. nigahiga http://www.youtube.com/user/nigahiga  hilarious videos, very entertaining. not as pointless as smosh, so it depends on preference. his more awesome vids were removed, but someone else reuploaded them so go search for 'em. - How to be ninja - How to be gangsta - How to be EMO peter chow(not sure if it's real or not) a.k.a. pyrobooby http://www.youtube.com/user/pyrobooby  he's the embodiment of the stereotypical asian and MORE!...XD does a hilarious accent and the stuff he talks about is just killer... sadie a.k.a. ultraneko http://www.youtube.com/user/ultraneko  ok, so her channel is about reviewing games, new AND old. whats interesting is how she reacts while playing the game....so yea... oh she also has interviews with like voice actors from well-known kickass games like David Hayter from the Metal Gear Solid series carmina topacio a.k.a. carminatopacio http://www.youtube.com/user/carminatopacio  she's a singer, that about covers what her videos are like. she usually sings covers but has like 1 or 2 originals. awesome voice, awesome looks =DD ok now to throw in a couple of pictures to allow the previous post to have more life =DD IT fair  i noe i look like a retard...dun comment on that pls..... Chalet  taupok!!  grp photo...(too lazy to name..)  9 (a brilliant movie, must watch) ok thats about it...im too lazy to put anymore.... ouh and the youtube channels, theres a couple more im gna start getting into so watch out for updates =D Saturday, September 19, 2009 Yes, it has been quite a while.... So my hols started quite a while back...had quite a few events this hols... Worked at COMEX......getting around 300+ or so... This time 'round, the part timers were pretty close. met 2 RP-ians and the rest were from other polys....and, out of all the part timers, 2 of them actually knew rachel!!!!! Well, i was working for AAAs coms again...selling GPS this time...decent sales i guess...but it was pretty fun since we were more or less the same ages...chatted alot..XD Might post some pics from that... After that rested for a few days, den..... DIDM CHALET!!!! yes...had a chalet with the ppl from my diff classes... 3D2N...hell lots of fun haha... 1st Day met some of the guys at pasir ris subway, had lunch and talk crap while waiting for alex and jing lie.... after that, we made our way to the chalet to be lightbulbs between Jaron and Krystl..XD so we rested awhile...den the whole grp went off to buy some grocery, while Jaron and Krystl stayed to get some rest since they had their own chalets the days b4. I stayed in the room to look after the stuff...... after that..we started the BBQ...which took friggin forever...and den it started drizzling. Had to use my umbrella to cover.. started cooking and a few more ppl started to show up...limei,ruiqi,clara..mmmm.....thats about it....they came just for the BBQ...gui liang came too and stayed throughout. went off to rest after that...played cards with Jaron,Krystl,Marcus and SJ. Played bridge alot....SJ kept getting annoyed that his partner could never help him properly..XD... we crashed after that.... Day 2 i woke up at like 5 to hear Alex and the whole other room playing cards or somthing, so i decided to join them,.... playing blackjack to decide who to drink the mug of "cocktail"...... i went in, i lost, i drank. end of story...XD den went for breakfast at macs.... den we went back to the chalet only for everyone to crash..XD i couldnt sleep, so i went to the beach for a walk.... came back and saw jaron and andy chatting so i joined them.... after waking everyone up, we off to rent bikes, but had to wait like till 5 or so to get them, so we went to eat at "Just Acia", and went to the arcade to blow shit loads of cash..XD went to get the bikes and started cycling to Changi Village...T.T ok the journey there was alright, went to check out OCH..... mind you, none of us had the guts to even go in there even in broad day light....XD den we rested awhile, and ta pao-ed our dinner and made our way back.... non-stop....i was tired as hell..... we stoppped by Red House to take a look....same with OCH, no one went in...we just took a look from the outside.... went back showered, had dinner..and just lepak around playing bridge again..XD went to sleep.....i slept like a log, and apparently, quite a bit of stuffs went on....damn!.... day 3 woke up, check out of the chalet, returned the bikes den went to have breakfast at BK...(finally no more macs!!..XD) a couple of us wanted to watch "Gamer" so the group split, leaving me,jaron,krystl,victor,marcus and sj. Went to EHub to get tickets, but found out the staff were tight asses and dint let those hu's 18th bdae haven passed get tix...so we decided to go somewhere else and watch something else too.... went to PS and we decided to watch "9"....it was a animation so i wasnt expecting much, but i was delightfully surprised when i watched the show. the story was briliant. it started off with you knowing just as much as the main character did, which was practically nothing, and slowly revealed to you the reason as to why the story up to that point was as such. it left you wondering, and only revealed parts of information at certain times, but revealed enuff to keep you going to the next point where they tell you more. best movie story-line thus far of ALL the movies that i have watched. but it's probably a 1-time thing since the intrigue is what keeps you there. The animations were excellent as well...i can only dream of being able to do that level of animations.... Yup...thats about it for the past 3 days....i'll post more pics soon...when im in the mood...could be lkater, or nxt week....oh well...=D Sunday, August 16, 2009 Revival for a day~~ It has been SOOOO long since i last blogged. the blog is so dead no one is probably gonna read this, but yes, i shall continue to blog either way. The previous post was probably when i was starting out my sem 1... now it's drawing to a close. How time has past. Countless things have happened over the span of this short semester, but everything comes to an end. But there is always SEM 2!!...We're all SIT anyways..=D ok so I'll just probably blog on what has happened over the past few days. 14th August (Friday) Web multimedia class.....had to do video editing, but the program was slow so i decided not to stay. Supposed to pon this class tgt with Alex, but the bugger last minute say wan stay. Nth to say~~...so i went down to meet with Krystl and Jaron hu also decided to skip their classes. Then we headed down to Causeway Point. Decided to watch a movie. Orphan. It was a pretty interesting show. I was expecting more of a ghost/supernatural kinda show, but psycho killer thriller is pretty good too. Damn funny how Krystl was scared at soooo many points in the show even though nth much was happening..XD She kept balling up and hiding her face... Yea...we den headed off on our merry way home after having Long John Silvers for dinner. It was a suan Jaron fest..XD me and krystl ketp shooting him on soo many things, but 50% of the dmg dealt was done by said target. He is seriously a walking "self-own"....hahaha 15th - 16th August (Saturday and Sunday) **The following events have all occured with Jaron "self-owning" himself at least once in each area and/or event. XD** Yes...Saturday....nth much happened during the day... Went down to city hall too meet with Krystl,Jaron and Victor. Say meet 7pm, i reached there 7.10pm liddat..thot they might have been waiting for a while.... 8pm, Victor and Krystl arrive..-.-...Victor was wearing his RP faci-like jacket...wth~~??....den we went to Mac to wait. 8.30pm, Jaron arrives...zZz...bugger sia...make me wait for so long....Anyways, we went to Marina Square and Esplanade that area walk walk. Went to the waterfront thing near the Esplanade to watch a gig for a bit...den we went down to the stairs area to cam whore..haha....them, not me. Then, Krystl's stalker decided to join us...and we ended up meeting with them on our way to the Singapore Flyer. Took a couple of pics on a big empty road there, but we were mainly messing with the shutter speed. We headed further into the area and found a pier-like area. We stayed there for quite a while. Taking photos, talking, playing cards and other stupid things. After that, we headed over to a Mac to get a drink and chill. We were chatting there for hours about stuffs like school, gunbound, annoying classmates and other pointless yet hilarious topics XD. Had our breakfast there. Some of us din't feel like returning home, so we decided to go play LAN. Headed over to Paradiz to play L4D and CS. Damn funny how Krystl was screaming at almost everything while we were playing L4D. We managed to actually complete a whole chapter. CS was just AWP map. Krystl din't noe how to use AWP so she kept chionging with her pistol. Deadly sia....hahaha.... she kept distracting the opposing team while her team mate killed them off...XD. We played till like 10 in the morning. We all came out of the LAN shop looking like zombies...haha. Den Victor and Krystl went off to bus home while Jaron tompang me to AMK MRT. Reached home, bathed and fell asleep. Woke up at 3pm+. !!!!!! freaked out lah. I was supposed to meet Sammy at like 1+. Saw i had 4 msges, quickly called her and den i rushed out to AMK to go meet her. She told me to meet her at Old Chang Kee. I was like searching all over B1,B2 and 1st floor of AMK hub lah...ends up the Old Chang Kee outside...zZz Den we explored AMK a little trying to find the library. Library was crowded, so we found a corner, share multi-plug wif 1 uncle den use comp. Study python until ard 7++ den went to eat dinner. Sammy had cockles, which she could'nt stop saying were 'damn nice'...XD....after that...home and now blogging......and stop. Wednesday, May 13, 2009 Once again it has been quite some time since i last posted...even though im pretty sure no one reads this, considering how dead it is..... so....yea...im over that little situation from before...i guess....probably....ok mebbe not completely. Anyways...sch's started...like a couple of weeks ago. My classes are ok, there are some pretty cool people...some quiet ones...no one dicernably annoying yet....ok i guess.... My facis on the other hand.....haizz.... Programming:.....she gives me straight "A"s, but she is 1 lazy mo**** fu****. Web Design: Fat man expects us to produce professional work....zZz.... System Techs: Faci is ok....module is f-ing annoying thou.... Principles of Digital Media: !@#$%^&*&^%$#....WTF does that stupid bitch want from me?!?!!! sheesh..i do my work,cooperate with the team, speak out when i have the chance and she still gives me a cruddy grade?!!...thank the heavens that she aint my permanent faci. ok that just about covers it for sch...... time to emo...hahaha..... no seriously.... well....recently i've been feeling down.....way more than usual...feel like the whole world is f-ed up and that things will never go up. It feels like i was given life just to suffer...zZz....pisses me off.... i have tried to look at this differently and could see that some parts are within my control to change...and yet...i cant.... i've done a lot of self psychological therapy....and found out quite abit as to why i act or don't act the way i do/should...... no...i dont intend to explain it all coz i'd probably end up telling my life story...so i'll just say im very,VERY insecure.... Perhaps i do not have it the worst out there, but my life hasen't been a walk in the park either...so don't judge me for what you don't know. bah...who am i talking to...no one reads this anyways......no one would give a damn even if thay DID read this...hahaha...... sometimes i really do wonder; who would actually give a damn,should i end my life...regardless of it being on my own or by accidental or natural(illness) means.... Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Damn man...it has been LONG since my last post... well i've been lazy so shoot me.....no really shoot me so i die...emo alert~~ XD So anyways it's my hols now (actually it's been for a while now) and im rotting at home almost everyday..zZz...really gotta find a job man....so time to talk about my crappy life!!...XD CNY was ok....surprised i dint gambled much wif my family...but quite a bit wif my frens thou..XD Got like $300 of red packet cash....saving like 200.......went to fiona's hse bai nian...go there see so many strangers...but made new frens.....played blackjack until 9 am liddat sia..... fast forward >> the other day....kenneth and his friends 3 missing 1 so call me go play mahjong...made new friends again.....i dint play much thou...coz like 90% of the time i was teaching chloe(kenneth's friend) and seriously...that girl's luck is insane....it was her 1st time playing that day and she ended up winning like $20+....... i just bought spiderman: web of shadows 2dae.....ok ok game....doesnt live up to the hype oh and i got my heart completely crushed just now....and somehow im like in a trance right now....it's not kicking in......im really lost right now....... =D =) =| =( Friday, December 12, 2008 Alcohol gets you high, but makes you drunk....2-sides of a coin, 1 crazy ass night =D Alright...so today's the last day of school and because of last night i decided not to go today.... lessee i was with kwan,sharan,dev and nick. We met up like during the 1st meeting to go around the school in baclavas(me the only one in a gass mask) and give out candy to people we know!...haha totally random fun thou..... then when we reached my class, seemed that my faci already ended my the lesson, so i packed my stuffs, took my bag and finished off the thing.... Then i joined joyce,bernard and sharon at mac, where we decided to watch a movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still. Pretty interesting, not what i expected thou...den we headed to starbuck to chill for awhile. Chilled till lessons ended and met up with the candy group to head over to haji lane. Had Morrocan kebabs with pita bread for dinner. Pretty awesome... Den we headed over to some mall there where we intended to go for a walk but ended up laughin at almost every single shop name...hahaha.... Then off to sheesha + beer. Was my 1st experience....dint even know if i was doin it right.. well we dint do much there so once the sheesha finished, we headed over to kwan's place where we started drinking tequila. We were like testing the threshold of everyone there, and i got high for the first time, and pretty fast too. I kept randomly swaying around. XD Then we did something stupid, we decided to try other alcohols, so we drank vodka and eggnog+rum. Then things started to go nuts. Dev just starts ranting and singing in russian and the rest of us we laughing our lungs our and had no idea wtf he was talking about...partway his mom called and he actually told her; "I wanna fuck a prostitute. I really wanna fuck a prostitute." XD Hilarious shit man. Den Dom started to puke which caused a chain reaction to Dev then to Kwan, then to Sharan...no i dint puke, i had lesser than the rest. SO, being the only somewhat sober guy i had to clean up after them...aint pretty man... Crashed and woke up like 7++ we had to like rouse those who were like dead and lying around...den went to mac for breakfast and home Craziest night of my life. PERIOD.
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